J is for Juvenilia -- Jaclyn Dolamore
So, my fan fic sucked, but I still had time to write up this weird FAQ.
Is Doc insane? In a way I think he is as insane as it gets, but then again, he’s not. He’s really just unusually smart and people aren’t really used to really smart people, so they’re sometimes declared insane. But Doc sort of really is insane. He makes Marty uneasy, he lives in his own little scientific circle. You can’t imagine a young Doc living with his parents. That’s Doc.
Who are Doc’s family? Well, it’s hard to figure that out. With careful watching, one discovers that Doc was born in 1922, making him 70. That shows that he most likely was born to parents who sailed over from Europe. If you listen to Doc, you’ll discover that in the 1900’s the Brown’s came to Hillvalley. Then they were Von Bron’s, and changed thier name during the first world war. That happened 4 years before Doc was born, so he was always a Brown. On one cartoon, it shows that his uncle is German, making his father most like English, and his mother German. This is all we can determine. (His father, English? Oh, young Jackie, you had all the pieces right there, and you couldn’t put it together?)
Where did Doc Brown get Great Scott! From? My guess is Jules Verne. I read an old cartoon about Captain Nemo and in it he said “Great Scott!” so I guess he got it from there.
Why does Doc’s mouth look weird on the cartoon? The drawers are insane. (The drawers? Seriously, I didn’t know the word “cartoonists”? Or “artists”?)
Why are Doc’s shoes like clown shoes? Because they are future shoes.
Where does Doc Brown live in one, two and three? In 1985 he lives in Hillvalley on a regular street in Lyon Estates. In future two, he’s probably dead or in a retirement home. He’d be 93. In alternate 1985, the crazy house. The looney bin, the home for insane people. In 1955, a mansion. In 1885, a storage room.
Is Doc happy? Yes. Clara brightened up his life.
Did they use a real plane in that one part? I’m sure they didn’t.
Why does Doc love long coats? Um, he likes coats that cover him so he won’t get fusion on himself or something?
Why did Doc give Mart extra money for the Pepsi if Marty couldn’t have souveniours? He didn’t have exact change for a Pepsi.
How did Jules make so many things when he was only 12? Who knows, the cartoon isn’t real. (As opposed to the movies, which as we all know, are totally real. *zooms off on hoverboard*)
-age 10
Heron comic page 2. Check out bandmate Senera’s amazing duds: goggles, some kind of cropped faux fur top, fingerless gloves, scarf tied around her waist…
More amazing script:
Senera: Hey, Her! You look down!
Heron: Oh, me!? I’m fine!
Senera: Ok, gotta check, y’know. Take care.
More bad teenage comics, from ‘96/age 14. Heron was a dude in a band who had wings and mysterious origins. He was having bad dreams of, presumably, whatever fantasy land he came from.
Bad teenage comics. This is one is from 1995 and features a very early version of my character Det Arianni, and a girl named Rella who got a big picture at the front and then was never mentioned again in any story ever. Great scripting:
“I had only known Rella for five minutes, but I had already taken a shine to her. I had told her I lived in the south and had lost my donkey and needed to get home. She was very helpful. I learned she, too, was from the south (although I wasn’t really from the south but another dimension) and that she had come to buy fabrics. Things went quickly.”
…only I am not sure what my point was.
Then again, I was 10, I probably didn’t have a point besides momentarily amusing myself.
Adult Land
Plans for adult land:
Adultie menu with logic and crossword puzzles. Balloons for adults.
Kids are asked, when resteraunt is too full, “How many and party of what?”
Kids tell waiters what the adults want.
A special little toy, such as a knife, potholder or ice cream scooper.
Special Adult’s Night.
Adults get candy when they leave.
Kids help pay the bill.
Adults complain when they sit next to each other, kids are happy.
High chairs for really old messy people.
When a meal is messed up, the kids inform the waiter.
Adults get crayons. Kids order wine.
Adults complain about dressing up nice to go. Kids brush adults hair if the adults can’t do it.
Only child waiters and cooks.
Adults always point out any cow or deer heads above the table.
When no adults are with the kids they eat a romantic dinner.
Wine list given to oldest kid. Adults can’t have alcohol.
Kids lead the way while adults hop along behind.
Kids get to say smoking or non-smoking.
Kids talk while adults are bored. Adults interrupt and say “I’m bored.”
Adults over 80 free.
Adults cry if wierd sauce is on their meal.
Adults free with coupon if accompanied by a kid.
If kids pick smoking section, they can smoke. Adults can’t.
Older adults complain about adultie menu. They say it’s immature. Adultie menu for 22 and up.
- Introduction
As we know, Doc Brown is a scientist and a very thorough thinker. This is an exagerated version of what Doc would do in these situations.
- Giving a Flower
Doc thought as he walked to Clara’s. How would he present the roses. He could say, “Hello, here, I have a present for you,” but that was not his style.
He was at Clara’s. He took a deep breath and leaped up the steps. Clara awnsered the door. Doc squinted and sort of smiled, then presented the flowers and said, “Guess who these are for?” Clara laughed. She said, “Emmett! You didn’t! Oh!” Doc walked the door with a smile on his face. Clara put the flowers in a vase. Doc inhaled the fragrance.
Chapter One
Jilliane Margaret-Samuels
She was likable enough. Jill was age seventeen. She had a slender face. Reddish-blonde hair framed her face delicately. She had blue eyes and long lashes. She had a slim nose right above her pink lips. (I’m so glad her nose is above her lips. Always a nice feature in a girl.) Her ears didn’t stick out. She had a beautiful figure, good posture, and nice legs.
She was sweet and sincere. She was beautiful. She was athletic. She was smart. She was the best girl, in a man’s opinion. (Generic man approve of girl!) So the question was—why did no one like her? It wasn’t as if she was unpopular, unkind, or ugly. She wasn’t stupid or poor. It was a mystery.
She lived in a luxurious, rich-looking house. She had a friendly beagle puppy. She was popular in school. She had friends both popular and unpopular, rich and poor, funny or bad-tempered or failing in school. But her questions were to be awnsered.
Chapter Two
Steve or Sam?
Jill was walking down the lane in an Albertsons. She saw a sample for delicious cheesecake and strolled over to eat a bite.
The cheesecake was delicious. She was despaired when she found cheese all over her hands. (So refreshing that I addressed the common but little-talked-about problem of surprise cheese mess.) She ran to the bathroom, hiding her hands.
She washed her hands. When she opened the door it slammed in the cheek of a young man. (Why was his cheek against the door of the women’s bathroom?) “Oh, god. I’m sorry,” she said. “It’s allright,” the guy groaned.
She talked with him. His name was Steve. He was seventeen, just like she was. He drove her home.
Sam was the mailman. (She’s seventeen and getting potentially involved with the mailman? How old is he??) He came up to her house w/ a package since it wasn’t a busy day. (You can tell the story is about to peter out when I didn’t have the energy to fully write the word “with”.) She rode with him a mile and walked home.
—age 10
Emily of New Moon was always writing poems like “Lines to a such-and-such” and so I tried to mimic this. The result sucked.
The beautiful woman so tall and bold,
With her eyes icy, her expression cold.
She was young, but yet looked old,
Or so that is what people’r told.
On her doorknob she got ahold,
The boards of her house covered with mold.
But under it all was a heart of gold.
-age 10
The regal cock, as he once stood
Is now enveloped in a viney hood.
It’s glassy eyes and cold hard stare,
Now possesses a ice covered glare.
The winter breezes are at no avail,
They are no longer a strong hard gale.
Twas the night, the cock would be found.
Would be revealed, with little sound.
‘Twas midnight and this fatefull hour
Brought spring, and every spider cowers
As the ancient door gave a creak.
And who should come in springs first week.
But Elizabeth a younger miss.
But this old house just wasn’t bliss.
Her father came in after down.
Crippled like a newborn fawn.
But determined, the man was at that.
And he’d still smile with the tip of his hat.
For crutches wouldn’t hold him back.
Very determined, his name was Jack.
Lizzie laughed when he came near,
And he smiled, and shed a tear.
“This old house, I call it Mist Door.
I’ll fix up the shutters, the attic, the floor.”
And when she reached the sinking roof,
There the cock sat, and that’s the truth.
(OMG WHY THIS POEM IS SO BAD. And why did I put so periods when these weren’t even sentences? The only positive about this poem is I didn’t rhyme someone’s last name with a place, like “Bolm” and “Holm”.)
A woman so lovely, and good named Anne LaRoint
With a cottage at misty Rocky Point.
With the yellow gables, and the blue-gray roof.
‘Twas pretty enough for honest truth.
There was a blowing breeze,
‘Twas never a chilly freeze.
The grass blew pretty, the solemn owl.
And the farm cat on silent prowl.
‘Twas never a place so loving and proud.
And the wind and rain were the only loud.
It really wasn’t pretty only in the den.
And knowone was in there anyway then.
The stately stone statues, the birds in flight.
And wind, and sun shining bright.
(I should note that because I wrote these poems in a Teeny Tiny Notebook, I thought that they were Really Long, like I was getting all Rime of the Ancient Mariner or something.)
